


As The Days Go By...

by FormulaFerrari



Series: Crash Crash Burn [2]
Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Work within work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-31
Updated: 2014-08-31
Packaged: 2018-02-15 13:20:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2230569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FormulaFerrari/pseuds/FormulaFerrari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jenson swallowed, nodding and moving forwards alone. He, somehow, didn’t think he was going to be of much use. Fernando had only recently restarted letting Jenson into his room. And when Jenson had been in there yesterday he had pretty much told the Spaniard that he didn’t have to leave the room again if he didn’t feel up to it. He couldn’t possibly go in there now and tell Fernando the complete opposite. Fernando would call him a hypocrite and throw him out. It would probably do more bad than good.</p><p>And he liked being able to see Fernando. It helped him grieve for Mark.</p>
            </blockquote>





	As The Days Go By...

**Author's Note:**

> ****PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS WORK IF YOU HAVE NOT READ HURRICANE. IT INCLUDES SPOILERS FOR HURRICANE. PLEASE READ HURRICANE FIRST.****
> 
> I was going to post this in Hurricane but, for obvious reasons, I couldn't put this in the initial work. But it seemed a shame not to share this scene because I quite liked it : )
> 
> It fits in chapter 13 just after the Rob/Felipe scene (the description shows what this is in reference to)
> 
> *14*

“Fernando?” Jenson knocked tentatively, moving into the room. Andrea caught his shoulder as he entered, showing his thanks. The Brit nodded, his eyes locked on the broken human lying on the bed, unable to even comprehend how Fernando was feeling. It had been horrible the day Fernando had thrown him out, refusing to let him back in. Of course Jenson couldn’t empathise with him. Jenson hadn’t meant to insinuate he could. Mark was Jenson’s friend and he was hurting but Fernando and Mark had been in love. Jenson simply had no idea how Fernando was feeling. Not one tiny bit.

“Has not been talking to me.” Andrea admitted sadly. “Does not like it when I come in here taking about missions so I stop. But Red are getting bored of waiting.” Jenson just nodded, taking a seat in the vacant desk chair. Andrea squeezed his shoulder again. “Think a familiar face will be good for him.” Andrea said positively. Jenson raised his eyebrow at him.

“Last time I was in here he threw me out.” Jenson reminded. It had been the most energetic thing he had seen Fernando do since Mark disappeared.

“He asks for you, Jenson.” Andrea reassured. “I give you some time.” The Italian nodded towards Fernando before adding: “Try and get him off the bed and cleaned up. Has been in these clothes almost a week.” In a hushed whisper. Fernando didn’t move when the door was shut behind Andrea. He just continued to stare at the wall holding his back to the Brit. Jenson patted his knee awkwardly.

“What does he say?” Fernando muttered in a tired voice. Jenson didn’t answer, slightly startled by being confronted with Fernando’s broken voice. There was a sigh. “Know he whispers about me. Does not understand… What does he want now?” Fernando asked, rolling onto his back. His voice was exhausted even though he hadn’t physically done anything.

The sight in front of him horrified Jenson. Fernando had not looked this bad when he threw Jenson out. About four days had passed since then and it was clear Fernando wasn’t eating of sleeping very much at all. The dark shadows under his eyes gave him a hollow look. There was a musky smell in the room that was a combination of Fernando being so stationary and having the doors, windows and curtains tightly shut permanently.

“Jenson…” Fernando’s voice was softer than Jenson expected it to be. It was almost a beckoning. Jenson cleared his throat, sitting forwards.

“He wants you to get up and get clean.” Jenson said calmly. Fernando looked back to the ceiling and blinked slowly a couple of times.

“Ok.” He nodded. Jenson frowned at him.

“Ok?”

“Help me?” Fernando requested, his almost dead eyes boring into Jenson’s. Jenson remembered when Fernando’s eyes had been so mysterious and full of life. He remembered that night out the Agents had gone on to celebrate the success of a difficult mission when Mark had spent half an hour explaining the appeal of Fernando’s eyes to Jenson. It unnerved him how much they had changed in such a short space of time.

Jenson stood, nodding at he took Fernando’s hands and pulled him to his feet. The Spaniard placed himself close to Jenson’s body, looking up at the taller man as if waiting for something. Jenson sent him a small frown, letting go of his hands.

Fernando simply moved closer to him.

The hand that wrapped around Fernando’s waist was simply put there so Jenson could stop them falling into each other. Fernando rested his head in the crevice of Jenson’s shoulder, closing his eyes and wrapping his arms tightly around the Brit. Jenson waited for Fernando to do something but nothing ever came. The small man in his arms pushed closer, encouraging Jenson to return the hold – which he did – but nothing. Fernando let out a small exasperation.

“Help me…” He muttered much quieter. Jenson cupped Fernando’s cheek, tilting his head up so the Spaniard had to look at him. But Fernando’s eyes were closed. Jenson frowned deeper.

“How?” Jenson murmured back. Fernando slowly blinked his eyes open.

The kiss was fast. Before Jenson realised it Fernando had him pinned against the wall, kissing him frantically, bruising his lips. Fernando’s hands curled into Jenson’s hair as he pulled the Brit closer, fighting to dominate his mouth. Teeth clashed, tongues swirled but eventually Jenson managed to push Fernando off him. They were both panting slightly, Fernando sprawled out on the floor in front of Jenson as, again, he appeared to be waiting for something.

“I’ll… I’ll go and get the shower warm for you.” Jenson nodded, hoping a normal task would eliminate the abnormal way Fernando had just acted. Fernando dropped his head, nodding, and Jenson took it as his cue to leave. He moved into the bathroom, pulling back the shower curtain and turning the dial until a warm stream of water jetted out. Turning around to call for the Spaniard he found he didn’t have to. Fernando threw himself into Jenson’s embrace, kissing him harshly again and knocking the Brit back into the shower. Fernando’s hands swept over Jenson’s dampening clothes as he tried to force Jenson to react to him. Jenson tried to pull him off but it was to no avail. The heavy plop of Fernando’s shirt hitting the floor alerted Jenson to the face that Fernando was undressing himself. Wet fingers plucked at the button of Jenson’s jeans. “No-”

“-Please.” Fernando begged, sucking desperately at Jenson’s neck. Jenson fell limp against the tiled wall, succumbing to the pleasure Fernando was evoking through him. Jenson gasped as the warm water trickled down his jeans, soaking into his boxer shorts.

“No, Fernando.” Jenson tried again. Fernando stole his mouth again; grabbing Jenson’s hand and pushing it passed the elastic waistband of his own underwear.

“Please…” Fernando wept lightly in Jenson’s ear as he tried to force the Brit to take hold of his hard member.

“Fernando, you don’t want to do this.” Jenson tried, looking directly into Fernando’s eyes. Tears or shower water streamed down Fernando’s face; Jenson was not sure which was which but his bloodshot eyes revealed his broken state.

“Do. Need this.” Fernando whined, sinking to his knees in front of Jenson. Jenson pulled him back to his feet but Fernando had already got his cock free. Jenson gripped extremely tightly to Fernando’s wrist as the Spaniard reached for him.

“Not…” Jenson tried to force himself to keep a clear head. “Not me… I have Kevin…” He tried. A twisted expression of jealousy, hurt, pain and understanding crossed Fernando’s face. But Fernando’s hands fell away from him. The Spaniard gripped tight handfuls of his hair as he slipped down the wall, his sobs echoing in the small environment. Straightening himself up and tucking himself away Jenson did up his jeans, sliding down next to Fernando and pulling him close. He stroked his fingers lightly through Fernando’s damp hair, pressing a light kiss to Fernando’s temple. “I know you’re missing Mark, Fernando, but you need to chill out.” Jenson cooed softly. Fernando shuffled closer to him, taking one of his hands in his own.

“Just me then… Please…” Fernando breathed, adjusting himself so his back was pressed against Jenson’s chest. He slid Jenson’s hand back into his trousers, bending his fingers around his pulsing length. Fernando sighed into his touch, pushing himself back into Jenson. His lips found Jenson’s neck as he moved the Brit’s hand. Jenson wasn’t sure if he should stop this. He wasn’t sure if he felt comfortable doing this. Deciding he wasn’t at all comfortable with the situation Jenson tried to pull his hand away.

“Fernando-”

“-No! Please!” Fernando begged, gripping Jenson’s hand tighter. Jenson shook his head.

“You… You can do this yourself.” Jenson tried. Fernando rapidly shook his head.

“Please…”

When Fernando came, he called for Mark.

\- - -

Jenson tried not to think about the incident in the bathroom. Tried not to think about Fernando’s needy moans for Mark, how he had used Jenson to pretend he still had Mark. It made him shudder. He didn’t like this Fernando. He had left the bathroom as soon as he could letting Fernando shower himself, even though the Spaniard had begged him not to leave. Jenson pulled the curtains open and let the mid afternoon sun stream into the room. Staring out at the courtyard was better than pacing Fernando’s stuffy little box of a room. He threw the window open wide, inhaling the clean air that wisped across his face.

“Close that.” Fernando’s muted voice stated from across the room. Jenson turned to face him, noting that the casual clothes he had donned were all Mark’s.

“It will do you good.” Jenson said as Fernando climbed back onto his bed, pulling Mark’s pillow close.

“Do not want good.”

“I’m leaving it open.” Jenson said sternly. Fernando caught his eye, seeing the uncomfortableness there. The Spaniard shrugged, hiding behind Mark’s pillow. Jenson perched on the end of the bed. “Would you like to tell me what the fuck just happened.” Jenson requested, staring at the floor. Fernando observed him for a moment.

“Sorry for getting your clothes wet.” He muttered, voice muffled by the pillow. Jenson scoffed at him.

“I don’t care about my bloody clothes.” Jenson gritted. He looked down at his hands but was disgusted by the sight. They were extremely clean now, he had washed them at least seven times, but he would always remember what he saw there. “What the fuck is going on inside your head?” Jenson spat.

“You are angry.” Fernando nodded. Jenson turned to glare at him. “Can understand this.”

“You just decided you were going to use me, huh?” Jenson bit.

“Were close to M…” Fernando’s voice gave out on him as he closed his eyes, disappearing back behind the pillow. Jenson’s expression lightened a little. “Did not mean to call… Wanted the closeness again…” Fernando admitted timidly.

“So you used me to pretend I was him?”

“Was never an intention… Just happens…” Fernando blinked the tears from his eyes. “Wanted the closeness…” Fernando half expected the door to slam as Jenson stormed through it. When the arm wrapped around his shoulder he was shocked to say the least. But he fell into Jenson’s hold, gripped on like the world was going to end. Jenson could see how needy Fernando was. He pulled him closer. “I never do this… He always does it for me… Was his way of taking care of me…”

“Fernando, you don’t need to explain.” Jenson tried, drying Fernando’s cheek. Fernando nodded.

“Can you shut the curtains?” Fernando requested lightly. Jenson sighed.

“Why?”

“Do not want it. It too warm.” Fernando muttered.

“It will keep _you_ warm.” Jenson tried, but Fernando was already lost to his thoughts.

“He was warm…” Fernando muttered.

“Look, I don’t know when you last ate, so lets go and get some food and take it down to the courtyard and just sit in the sun. If you want to talk then you can talk-”

“-No.” Fernando sighed.

“Ok, then we just eat-”

“-Am not leaving this room.” Jenson blinked at him.

“What?”

“They want me to leave. Is this what he whispers?” Fernando asked, looking up at Jenson. Jenson shook his head.

“I told you what he whispered.” Fernando just nodded.

“Cannot work here anymore…” Fernando admitted heavily. Jenson frowned at him.

“What?”

“He helped me. Have no one to help me anymore…”

“Then leave.” Jenson said gently. Fernando tensed under his arm.

“Cannot…”

“Sure you can. Just pack up your things and go. Nothing is holding you here anymore. Then you can go and find him and then-”

“-Can never find him. Is gone.” Fernando bit harshly. Jenson looked down at him sympathetically.

“He was only terminated, Fernando. It could have been worse.”

“This is worst.” Fernando countered.

“He could have been killed.”

“They basically have killed him. Is just a shell with a name. Would not remember me if he ever saw me again. Cannot remember our memories together. Have stolen him away from me, wiped me out of his life along with everything he worked for and once knew.”

“But he’s still around somewhere. He’s still alive and living.”

“And this is the worst knowledge.” Fernando stated sadly. “He will never remember me.”

“Fernando-”

“-Is still alive and well but is out of my reach. Cannot get to him… This is why I cannot leave.”

“You can leave.”

“For what?” Fernando shot, glaring up at Jenson. Jenson dried his cheeks again.

“You can’t stay cooped in this room for the rest of time. He wouldn’t want you wasting your life like this.”

“Have no reason to leave. Refuse to work for the people who take him away.”

“So what’s your answer?” Jenson asked. Fernando dropped his head.

“Just want him back…”

“Just… Take you’re time with this grieving, Ok? Stay in here as long as you want.” Fernando relaxed a little and Jenson knew they were the words he wanted to hear. “The Elite know you have a legitimate reason to be in here now. Just take your time. But you need to start doing something or you’ll drive yourself crazy.” Jenson didn’t really want to think it but he placed Kevin and him in Fernando’s situation. He knew, in his heart of hearts, that if Kevin had been ripped from his life he would react in the exact same way as Fernando. But Fernando was accusing Andrea of scheming against him and needing people to help him the same way Mark used to. Fernando was loosing it. And if he wasn’t careful he would drive himself mad.

“How did it go?” Andrea asked as Jenson emerged from Fernando’s room. Jenson gave and exhausted shrug.

“I got him dressed and cleaned and his window open.” Jenson said, failing to mention the bathroom incident. Andrea nodded, a smile on his lips.

“Well, this is progress.” The Italian nodded. But when he returned to Fernando’s room the curtains and window were shut and the Spaniard was curled on the bed, right where Andrea had left him.

**Author's Note:**

> I am planning on writing some more for this universe I have created.  
> There were a couple of scenes I wanted to write in here but, as you will understand once I have posted them, they couldn't go in the main work because they would have spoiled what I wanted to achieve.
> 
> With this in mind, I wanted to open up the opportunity for you to suggest any scenes you would like me to write.  
> They can be set before, during or after the main work.  
> Just leave me a comment with your suggested scene and I will see what I can do : )  
> Three have already been planned so if I don't respond to your request that's because I'm already writing it :P
> 
> *14*


End file.
